Today was a wet day of travel. We were travelling in a thunderstorm and rain on and off. I was pretty quick in my walking...to about every shelter or covering I could find. It went well though. We travelled to Aspen Grove shopping center and I only ended up in a lane of traffic once...and no one was on it. I felt pretty confident since I've been on that same route sighted many times. So I knew what to expect. On the way back I got off the train and went to walk across the second set of tracks and halted to a stop really fast b/c I just about walked into the moving south bound train. I literally felt my hair swish. Ok I was not ok with how close I came to that train...never heard it b/c the one we got off of was making plenty of noise. Sheesh!!!

Braille is very complicated right now...I'm learning contraction signs like ble, ing, com, and others. They all have rules of when to use them in a word and the signs don't necessarily have some pattern to them. It's raw memorization. Ahhhh!!! Brain frizz!

Roadblocks

So far I have still been doing well with my sleep shades and not allowing myself to peek. I get more and more comfortable with them the longer I make it too. Today during travel we needed to catch a bus to our destination. Well I went as fast as I could to keep from being late and we missed the bus by about 2 minutes. So we walked....crossed lots of driveways, small roads, roads with medians, and two major intersections. It was exhausting and required more brain work than I would care to put in. Well at one point we were crossing a small road and had to listen to our parallel traffic on Littleton Ave (which is a big road). I was trying to follow traffic and started to veer. Well the cars that saw me coming would move over into the far lane to keep from hitting me and continue past. Problem was I was focused on making sure I was lined up with traffic that as the cars moved over I also moved over...soon I was wondering why I hadn't hit the other curb yet and found out that I was actually walking in the middle of Littleton Ave. That is a major road and is really the wrong place to be. My travel instructor called me back and I was able to quickly realize the problem and move to my right to correct for it. Gosh I hate how badly I do with following traffic and localizing sounds. I try and maybe it isn't something I can change, but I really want to see if I can figure out a way to do this. So far I am still alive so that is a good sign!!! I also crossed a few of them pretty well so instead of only focusing on what I did wrong (even if it was a major one) I should still see what I've done well. Otherwise it can be very discouraging!!!

Successful week

All in all this week was successful. I made it the whole week without peeking. My travel instructor is planning to buy me a gallon of cold stone creamery if I make it the rest of my program. Can I do it????
Anyways we were sent one day to find a gas station on Sante Fe during travel. My instructor was supposed to meet us halfway and was delayed. So Mark and I ended up doing it all on our own and got there. It was hard. I had to cross two intersections and three roads with stop signs. Then I got tangled in a tree that was attached to the back of a truck sitting in a driveway. I was hollering about annoying trees and ropes and trucks...Mark was laughing at me. It was kinda humorous!!! But pine needles hurt and I kept really getting tangled in them. Oh well I lived to tell about it. The intersection crossing was hard...I ended up crossing diagonally across both roads...and Mark was asking where I was going since I sounded far away. I figured out I was in the wrong road. Had to find my way back to the curb. I lived to tell about that too. The gas station has a big open lot for cars to drive in and I got way confused on that trying to find something to indicate what directions the building was in. I could smell gas pumps though and a car wash. It's that odd...smelling a car wash? Even though it was hard it felt successful b/c I never cheated.

Today

I had a successful day today. Still on my no cheating run for a few more days....my friend Heather is buying ice cream at Cold Stone if I win the bet and can make it 3 days total without peaking. So far 2 down 1 to go.

Anyways I was sent to Englewood station, which is a mess of obstacles, and we had to go find Hampden Ave. Then my instructor sent us back on our own. Mark and I were hoping not to get too lost. I was being dramatic like always and managed to figure out how to get back at least near the library. I did get stuck between a column and a wall. Couldn't figure out what the heck was going on. My instructor finally took pity on us and helped us find our way back to the station. I am feeling a little better about traveling....at least I'm not afraid of getting hurt while using my cane. I don't know how I will ever figure out directions and finding places though without sight. We'll see how it goes. Hopefully it's a skill I will start to figure out.

Big Schedule change

Today was a challenging day to say the least. I did enjoy it until I got overtired. My friend Joyce and Ayumi came to pick me up from the Center and I took them on a tour of Denver with my sleep shades on. Thankfully they were sighted so they could pull be back into the correct crossing lane every time I crossed an intersection. We took a bus from Broadway Station into Denver, ate some Japanese food, continued taking the bus into the city, walked awhile through the 16th Street Mall, stopped at a Japanese food store, and them got back onto light rail from Stout and 18th. I actually could use chopsticks with no vision. HA!! I got a kick out of that. I had a lot of trouble knowing when I got to a street, finding the low spot to cross, and figuring out my orientation. If only things were made to be blind accessible....ha yeah right. That would be too easy and I don't attract anything easy. :-0

It is really hard to do that much thinking about what is going on around you without tiring really easily. I was wiped and emotional right on top of it. I didn't cheat & peak so that is exciting for me! Emotionally I really had to deal with my fear of being totally blind. I don't know how I am going to have a normal life and do much of anything. I know I am training so that I can, but it is still so daunting. Travel and communicating is so hard and a lot of work, especially with my hearing loss. With my field test results it wouldn't surprise me if I am total within only a few short years. That freaks me out! Of course miracles happen and progression can do many weird things. So there is still a small tiny chance I will keep some vision. Likelihood of losing it all with Retinitis Pigmentosa is still pretty high. Big travel assignments and anytime I have to do something out of my comfort zone (which is always lately) tend to bring my future prospects crashing into me and leave me reeling. I need to do them, but it usually takes some time to recover from it and go back to pretending everything will be alright.

Saturday Meal

Last night my friend Kristen and I made a dinner fir about 10 people at my good friend Joyce's house in Evergreen Colorado. Gluten free Strawberry creme tart and salmon patties with quinoa instead of flour to make them gluten free. The food tasted fabulous and I had a great time. There was a major point of frustration when flipping the salmon patties was not going well. They did not want to flip without trying to come apart. Kept burning our fingers on either the frying pan or the griddle. I'm going to have calloused fingers after too many more griddle burns. Fortunately it wasn't super hot. I have to say at that point I was worn out and emotionally charged. I was tired of wearing sleep shades and just wanted to stop. Cooking is hard and under sleep shades it's longer and harder. Nice thing about sleep shades though is that onions don't make you cry and when you do start crying from frustration it hides it well. Instead I just kept laughing. That's generally my way of crying (anyone that knows me well can attest to that).

Aside from frustration during the flipping of salmon patties I thoroughly enjoyed my time there. Lots of friends and showing off some of what I have been learning.

Learning my lesson

I have to chuckle. Here I am training at the center for independence skills while blind and learning a philosophy that blind people can do anything and can do it for themselves. I was at Qdoba (a burrito place) with my two friends Heather and Kristen. They are both total or close to it. I am still sighted without my sleep shades. Anyways Heather finished her burrito and I proceeded to clean up after her. She got so annoyed with me and told me flat out that she could do it herself and I wasn't her mother. I knew that, yet all the sudden I started thinking like I used to and proceeded to "help" her do something she was perfectly capable of doing herself. Guess training hasn't stuck with me on that aspect. I train with this philosophy and yet forget about it as soon as those sleep shades come off. She forgave me of course but it helped me realize what it means to us as blind people to be independent, do things on our own, and to be allowed that right by others. Oops!!! At least I learned that lesson with a friend who willingly tells me what she thinks and will still like me afterwards.

On a side note, I have a funny story my roommate shared with me. Apparently she was getting into a car with her mom in a parking lot and walked to the passenger side, opened the door, and sat down only to find out she was in someone Else's car. The guy was like "ummm I think you are in the wrong car." "Oh I'm sorry sir!" She proceeds to get out and get in the correct car. Oh what a riot. I was totally cracking up on the train when she was telling me this story. Hilarious!!! I love the crazy things we all do...they are so much fun to share with each other and hear.