Almost ready to start

So today I am moving into my apartment that CCB provides. Looks like I’ll have a 19 year old roommate. Let’s hope my “old fashioned” ways don’t drive her crazy ;-)
I went on tour of the center a few days ago and I am very surprised with myself. I actually have prejudices myself. I noticed everyone that works there or teaches there is blind in some way or another. For some reason it surprised me. Can they do as good a job? Probably but my own prejudices are getting in the way of seeing that. It’s odd how I can feel that way about my own kind. I’ve just never been one to accept my own disabilities and forced myself to match up with and even surpass people that are not disabled. It’s hard to allow myself to admit what’s wrong with me. Seeing everyone blind really forces me to evaluate myself and perhaps that’s what I’m afraid of. I know I’m not defined by my disabilities but in a way I sort of am. If I ever do something great to contribute to society then the reason I’ll be noticed is because I’m deaf-blind…not b/c of my actual contribution. I’m not sure I mind really. It’s just a different way to look at my life. If you admit it to yourself, what actually goes through your mind when you encounter a blind person on the street? DO you think of them as people, of them as having any major intelligence, or do you notice that part about them only? Well I am so aware that when people see me that is all they see, unless they know me of course! I do not come across as smart, bright, fun, outgoing. I come across as pitiful and blind. That perception I do not care for, but it’s my new reality. A hard one for someone used to being so strong and capable of overcoming all the obstacles put in her way. I used to be so sufficient that people wouldn’t even notice my hearing disability until I told them, but this is something I can’t hide. That bothers me!

I start tomorrow at the center so we’ll see how I handle it. I also teach my first class tomorrow night at ACC. I’m not nervous yet, but probably will be tomorrow. It’ll be my first time teaching at a community college. I’m looking forward to it. Saturday I also start my biology class at metro. I need it for my graduate application to DU (Denver University). It’ll be an adjustment going from not doing much to being super busy.