Yikes what a day

Today was just bad. My sense of direction was way way off. It seemed that I would automatically gravitate to a corner and get stuck. If the door was right in front of me it would purposely move over so I'd bump into a corner and get stuck. It seemed I would hit every crack outside and just mad a mess out of my walking.

I had to cross my first intersection and lets just say that it's hard to go in a straight line when you can't see what you are looking at. I had to learn to wait and listen to traffic and what direction it was coming from. My hearing impairment makes this difficult. Bu I was still able to do it. The first crossing veered way off about 10-15 feet or so and I had to trace my way back to the sidewalk curb. The second crossing was close to perfect. This time I was told to listen to where the cars were going and aim for it. I felt like I was walking into the middle of the 4 way intersection but instead ended up where I was supposed to go. Interesting how that trick works out. I do not look forward to real bust intersections that are not residential. Uggg!!!

I spent some time thinking too much today about what I am facing. I really really do not want to go blind and yet I have no choice in the matter. I was told to think about how my blindness is an asset in the field I want to pursue. My thought is that my blindness is no ant asset in the science field. It's only a liability. It's so frustrating b/c not only did I pick a hard field to go into but I'm doing it blind (and at some point I may be totally blind). It's all very overwhelming!!!

They say it gets easier after a few months of this. I sure hope so b/c I am really having a hard time facing my looming reality and accepting this.