I am using this blogging site to keep friends and family informed about my life for the next 7 months or so of blindness training at the Colorado Center for the Blind. I have Usher's syndrome which results in hearing loss and progressive vision loss. Now the state of Colorado is paying for me to go through an extensive training program. There will be lots of challenges ahead for me and I am both apprehensive and excited!!!! The training consist of being blindfolded 8 hours a day 5 days a week and learning how to function completely without sight.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Am I so Scary?

So why is it that people are so afraid of me? I don't bite! On Sunday night we had a shopper's assistant at the grocery store and since I could still see I saw very clearly that the assistant was terrified of us. Am I really that scary? Then I noticed that when we came on the train yesterday morning a few people quickly got up and left even after we sat down. It's like we start a panic. I remember being self conscientious around blind people before and would act silly and was unsure what to do but I never really ran off or freaked out....or did I? Uggg I hate being on the receiving end of someone's fear. I was on a travel route yesterday and had problems finding the bridge and some guy came up and grabbed my hand and yanked me towards the bridge. I know he was trying to help so I am trying not to be miffed about it, but it seemed really rude how he yanked me around. Can there be a happy medium? I'm not stupid like the blindness makes me look. Being hearing impaired suited me better....I could hide it. The stick is really hard to hide. I really hate having my disability so out in the open. Now people see me and their first impression is dumb blind girl or pity. I really am capable and strong. Yeah it really sucks I'm blind but that doesn't mean my mind is blind to the things happening around me. I can see why the blind become so bitter about sighted people. I am determined not to be and so I have to work through these things. There are so many nice people out there and they genuinely care...and then there are some rude jerks. I need to make sure that line doesn't become to fuzzy for me. I do not want to be a bitter blind person towards people. My outgoing friendly personality is part of what makes me who I am.
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2 comments:

  1. mommy to manyFebruary 23, 2010 at 7:01 AM

    my first thought...well you might be scary if by chance you take the stick and start beating people with it, then you can say, no i'm not scary but see i could be!!

    hope to make you smile today!

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  2. AnonymousFebruary 23, 2010 at 9:10 PM

    They also might be a bit concerned if you are walking around with a night mask on. I can't imagine why they would move or walk away. Unless they think they are making it easier for you if they aren't in your way. As for the man yanking you... well if you don't expect it, any sort of pull or jerk would feel a lot worse then it would probably be had you been with sight. I do like mommy of Five's idea though... just don't take it too far LOL could end you up in more trouble, then again you are in a learning stage... you could use defense/natural reaction as a case against assaulting someone with your cane. LOL. Keep your chin held high we all have moments where we think the world is talking about us and we feel so alone. HUGS and good luck!
    ~Socks

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